With the holidays upon us, more people in Illinois are thinking about divorce than any other time of the year. The holidays have a way of making people realize that they aren’t happy in their marriage and with 2016 right around the corner, many want to get a fresh start.
The very funny comedian, Louis CK, has been through a divorce and I love his joke in the picture. He’s right when he says that “no happy marriage ends in divorce.” You might be happy in your relationship and get blindsided by a cheating spouse, but the truth is that if they are cheating on you, it’s not a happy marriage.
From my standpoint, the best part of the joke is that it has a real lesson which is that if you can accept that you aren’t in a happy marriage then you can accept that it’s best for you to get divorced. Of course that’s a lot easier said than done, but the ones who have that ability can start making rational decisions instead of emotional ones. You won’t be trying to get back at your spouse, you’ll be trying to get a result that you will be satisfied with and move on with your life.
Whenever someone calls us for advice on a divorce or looking for an attorney referral, the first thing we tell them is that they need to get a game plan together. By meeting with an experienced family law attorney you can make sure you are thinking about EVERY issue that needs to be handled to get you to the end point in your case. You also need to not just worry about what you want to happen right now (e.g. custody of the kids), but also a year from now (religion of the kids, where you want to live), five years from now (what are you going to be doing for work and does that impact your case, what will happen if you re-marry) and ten years from now (possibly planning for college expenses or selling the marital home).
It’s not easy to game plan when you are only thinking about revenge or the hurt you are feeling or simply trying to hold it all together. We get that. That’s why having a good attorney in your corner is important as it can take a lot of the pressure off of you. But it’s still on you to focus on your goals and the Louis CK joke, while funny, should help you realize that.
That’s not to say you are going to finish with a divorce and be happy or even enjoy the divorce process. But you can make it go smoothly and start getting on the path back to happiness. If you’d like our help in making that happen, please call us at (312) 346-5320.