The last couple of weeks have been draining for everyone.  I’ve tried to focus on all of the good that will come out of this like an improved climate.  That said, there is a lot of bad that is coming from Coronavirus.  I’m not just talking about the deaths, but also the terrible movies that will surely be made that try to show a COVID -19 subplot. Grab your popcorn because here is my guess as to the plot of 11 movies that will be shoved down our throats in the next two years.

1. Three teenage boys make a pact to lose their virginity by the end of the school year.  How will they do it if classes are cancelled and a quarantine is in place?

2. She’s a social media star who suddenly finds her source of revenue dried up when she can no longer promote her special diet drink. They’ve gone out of business because everyone is eating like a maniac.  What will happen when she has to get a job at the grocery store because she has so many bills?

3. Georgia opens up their state and the hospitals are overrun.  Coming this fall, The Purge 5, this time you make the rules.

4. The race.  50 movie studios try to get their Joe Exotic pic made but struggle to do so while being forced to stay six feet apart.

5. A high school couple (half of these terrible movies will be teen rom-coms, you just know it) had planned for that special night at prom.  Her parents won’t let her leave the house, his parents are busy partying.  Prom is cancelled until John Krasinski steps in with his “Good News” prom. Can it save the day?

6. There will probably be ten movies about girls who had to become strippers or escorts because they lost their jobs.  Wait until you see the shenanigans they pull on their customers. Hilarious.

7. The Mask.  Move over Jim Carrey.  This mask is a foreign romance smash about a man and a woman who fall in love from six feet away.  Will that all change when she has to remove her mask and reveals a terrible secret?

8. He was a dweeb when the school quarantine went in to effect.  She had bad skin, braces and (don’t be alarmed) glasses.  Nine months have passed since they’ve seen anyone and now everyone thinks there are two new hot kids at school.  See what happens in “Chad and The Swan.”

9. Jake just loves sports so much. ESPN is all reruns but he’s still watching. One late night they put on a random show that reveals pogo sticking is a big sport in New Zealand. You won’t believe it, but Jakes becomes the best pogoer in the world and an overnight sensation to the Kiwis.

10. We can expect tons of sadly based on a true story movies of people marketing fake vaccine cures.  Coming this spring, “Keeping Up With The Alex Jones’s.”

11. John is a CEO of a hospital system trying to get personal protection equipment.  Every time they order the Feds seize their purchase.  Nobody knows what the Fed is doing with this PPE.  John’s doctors and nurses need the gear so they can stop trying to protect themselves with bandanas and garbage bags.  Based on a true story, John the CEO turns in to John Rambo to smuggle in N95 masks and gowns from China only to discover they were originally shipped to Chine from the United States.

We have all suffered enough.  We can only beg Hollywood to never make any of these films or hope that the apocalypse comes before then.