I was sent a link by someone who stumbled upon some “men’s rights” podcast that was discussing divorce. It was from some group that is trying to get rid of no-fault divorce. That’s just a fancy way of saying that they want to control their wives or leverage the divorce to avoid paying their spouse any money. It’s gross, but it’s not why I am writing this.
As happens a lot on podcasts or other online content, the speaker talked very authoritatively as if everything they were saying is correct. It’s a feature of a lot of these guys that allows them to lie in a way that politicians do.
The first thing this guy said that was wrong is that pre-nuptial agreements almost never get enforced. That’s totally not true. If it’s done correctly, the pre-nup is a valid contract. There are guidelines in Illinois such as it shouldn’t be completed in the days before the wedding and each side should have an opportunity to review it with a lawyer. But to say they never get enforced is total nonsense.
The second lie was that men never receive child support or custody. Again this is total bullshit. Custody is based on the best interests of the child. Traditionally men worked and women stayed at home so women had a better chance of getting custody since they would be around. Times have changed and both men and women have careers. People also work from home which has changed the ability to take care of children. If the man gets custody, which happens all the time, they will get child support.
This same podcaster also said that women never pay alimony. In Illinois it’s called maintenance and it’s not a gender based law. If a husband stayed at home or had a low paying job while the wife made great money, she’d have to pay maintenance to him. Again, it hasn’t traditionally happened, but times are changing and it does happen. Saying “never” is to try and piss off people who follow him.
This guy went to throw out fabricated stats that are easily searchable such as saying that men make up 97% of child support payors or that men get custody less than 2% of the time (it’s actually over 20% nation wide and over 30% in many states). These trends will only continue to increase and become more even as they have been doing every year.
This podcaster isn’t a lawyer and shouldn’t be giving out legal advice. Maybe he had a bad experience. More likely it’s just part of a grift to help him make money. Whatever the situation, your case is unique and if you want to know where you stand, talk to a lawyer. You can do that for free with us any time.